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Spotting a covert narcissistic parent is a lot harder then a blunt overt narcissist. Everything a covert narcissist does is hidden. This can make you feel confused. These types of parents make themselves look like a saint to the outside world. They want outsiders to believe that they are the perfect parent, with the perfect children. But no one sees the truth but those inside the home. Here are some clues for you too look for if you are confused rather or not your parent could be a narcissist.
P.S Don’t love someone so much that you ignore the truth about them.
- Overly Judgmental Of Other Parents & Their Children, While Acting Like They Are The Perfect Parent
- Example Covert narcissistic parents will say things like “her kids are not well behaved..they are all on drugs & in & out of jail… Glad my kids are not like that!
- Everything You Do Is Supposed To Make Them Look Good As A Parent.
- Example.. If you become successful in life, that is because they raised you right. Even though they were unsupported of your goals, it is because of them you did so well in life.
- Overly Conscious About What Others Thinks Including Neighbors & extended Family Members
- Example… You call the cops because of a domestic disturbance in the house… Instead of being worried about your safety,health & well being they are too worried about what the Neighbors think.
- Will Try to Destroy Your Self-Esteem
- Example… You become & movie extra & you’re so excited, You go & tell your convert narcissist parent instead of being happy for you they say little side comments like your just in the background.
- Highly Sensitive
- Example… You seen yourself on Tv from being an extra in a movie.. you seen that your parent wasn’t all that happy when you told them about being in the movie the first time…So you didn’t tell them for a couple days about being seen in it.. you finally tell them.. then they ask why you didn’t tell them, you say because you didn’t think they would care…. Now your parent says how badly you hurt their feelings.
- Changes the Subject & Lacks Empathy & Emotional Support
- Example… your having problems in your life rather that be school, work, car, or love life. you go to you parents for guidance, love & emotional support, but instead you get the switch-a-roo, your narcissistic parent will change the topic soon you will be talking about all of their problems that’s going on in their life.
- Guilt Trips/Manipulation
- Example… Again you try to address a problem to your parent instead of them talking about the problem & you both try solving it, they changed the topic, gulit trip you & use manipulation tactics… Like, how can you feel that way after all I have done for you… Now you hurt my feeling, all I have done was be a good parent to you. Resulting In the problem never being solve.
- Plays favorites with Children/Pits Children Against one another
- Example…There usually is one child or more who can do no wrong while the other child can do no right. The child who can do no right is usually the scapegoat child or the weak link in the group. The favorite child often bullies the scapegoat child while the parent sits & does nothing to stop the abuse from happening. Then favorite child continues to bully the scapegoat child because they know they will have no consequences for thier actions. When the scapegoat calls out the abuse the parent will trash talk the scapegoat child to the other children & have the other children side together against the scapegoated child. So no one will believe the scapegoat child & the parent doesn’t look bad.
- Nitpicks/Singles Out One Child Over The Others
- Example…Parent complains about kitchen being dirty… But instead of complaining to all the children together because everyone uses the kitchen, The parent only complains to one child usually the scapegoat child.
- They Are Always Right, Can Never Acknowledge The Fact That They Are Wrong Sometimes.
- Example… You get in an argument about dishes being left out on the table..your parent insisted you left the dishes out on the table, you keep telling the parent it wasn’t you but they keep on at it… Finally one of the other children says they left the dishes out, instead of apologizing & admitting they were wrong, they say nothing or change the subject.