Having a toxic parent/s can really confuse you as a child or as an adult. You look to your parents for Guidance & love. When you do not receive what you are looking for, it can leave you hurt & damage inside. This can cause a lot of mental & emotional issues later in life. Just because your parents provided you with food & shelter, that does not mean they are healthy parents! Here are some signs of toxic parenting to look for that are not completely obvious.
Lying, changing the subject when put on the spot.
Puts on an act in front of others, but acts different behind closed doors
Using your reactions to their toxic behavior against you, making things always about them.
1. Toxic parents are overly critical of their children. They almost never give their children praise for what they do or their Accomplishments. Instead they always say mean & hurtful things to thier child sabotaging their child’s self-esteem.
2. Toxic parents Demand a lot of attention from their children, this includes a lot of praise. If the parents do not receive the attention they want from their child, they will take thier love away from that child.
3. Toxic parents play favorites between their children. There is usually a golden child & A scapegoat child. The golden child can do no wrong in the eyes of a toxic parent & they do not receive punishment for their bad behavior. On the other hand, the scapegoat child gets blamed for everything that goes wrong in the house, even when it is not thier fault. The toxic parents treats this child as if thier a burden to them. Making this child feeling unloved & unwanted. This is definitely what you would call emotional abuse!
4. Toxic Parents do not take responsibility for their toxic behaviors. & They NEVER admit when they are wrong. If you were to tell your toxic parent about their toxic behavior they will flip the script & justify their behavior using guilt trips & manipulation. They will say things like, after all I’ve done for you, how could you accuse me of those things. They will also make you believe it was all your fault for the way they acted, or change the subject completely to avoid taking Responsibility.
5. Toxic Parents are emotionally unavailable for your emotional needs. Toxic parents do not care to listen or understand their childs emotionally needs. Children & adults that have a toxic parent, learn down the line that their parents are the last people to talk to about thier problems. A toxic parent only cares about themselves & thier feelings. Anybody else’s feelings do not matter to them. Toxic parents especially narcissistic parents, lack empathy for others. They can’t put themselves in someone else’s shoes to understand thier feelings.
6. Toxic parents are always negative. They never seem to have anything nice to say. They will always talk about someone else in a negative way. They almost never seem to be happy, if they are in a good mood, an angry out burst is not to far away. Toxic parents nitpick & single out their children. They always find that there is something wrong around the house, provoking arguments with others in the household. This can put a lot of stress on everyone living with the toxic parent.
If you see these patterns of behavior after reading this. Take a look at your parents & your up bringing, then take a look at your friends & their parents. You will start to understand the way your parent/s treated you was not normal or healthy. You do not have to accept that kind of treatment anymore. Sometimes the only thing you can do is go no contact. Having a toxic parent can bring you heartache. You will not be able to grow if you consume your time & energy looking for your parents validation. Focus on healing yourself from the inside Out starting with self-love. You will become a newer & healthier version of yourself! You will look back & be so amazed on how far you’ve come!