10 Signs You Are A Victim Of Gaslighting

What is gaslighting? Gaslighting is when a toxic individual tries to manipulate their victim to make them question their own memory & doubt the events that occurred. The abuser may use contradictions, misdirection & lying to try to change the way a person remembers an event or incident. They do this to avoid taking responsibility and control over their victim.

They emotionally manipulate and abuse the victim covertly by constantly misleading them, creating false realities, and causing the victim to question their judgment and perception of reality. Commonly, gaslighting occurs in romantic and parental relationships. However, it can also occur in friendships or even with siblings. Nonetheless, the severity level is typically higher in romantic relationships than the others.  

Studies have shown that people who tend to gaslight others around them may suffer from mental disorders like BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) or NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). The only goal of such an individual is to exert control or power on their victims to satisfy their desires, get whatever they want, or simply satisfy their ego.

How Does Gaslighting Work?

The tactics of such a gaslighting individual are subtle to the naked eye, and it can be extremely hard to understand their true intentions. Here is how they might try to gaslight you.

They will lie to your face and deny it. 

These people usually pose as the most honest people in the world but, they are far from being truthful. Instead, they lie pathologically and habitually to a point they start to believe their lies. Moreover, they would act highly offended if someone confronted them about their lies. These people are so deceptive that even if you know that they are lying, you may still end up second-guessing yourself.

They will keep distracting you.

Whenever you try to prove your point, or healthily resolve an issue, or do anything that threatens their control over you, they will distract you by creating another problem out of thin air. Not only that but, they will pose that issue to be so grave that you will be forced to drop your case.

You will be constantly discredited.

Gaslighters spread rumors to discredit their victim in front of others. But they will also try to discredit their victim within themselves. They will make you believe that you are not a good person or that you have major flaws, and they may even be successful in making you believe that you are mentally unstable.

They will invalidate your feeling, thoughts, and beliefs.

Invalidating things that act as a pillar of your existence gives them more power over you. This is because a person who is sure of themselves and what they stand for will never fall for their tactics. Moreover, invalidating or minimizing their victim’s feelings helps make you, aka the victim, feel unstable and stupid.

They never admit their mistakes or wrongdoings.

A gaslighter never takes responsibility for their poor actions unless it helps their case and leads to them gaining or regaining control over their victim. This leaves the victim confused, insulted, unimportant, and unheard. Moreover, due to this tactic, the victim never gets the closure they deserve and hence, has a hard time healing or moving on.

They contort past events.

They may retell stories in a way that helps their narrative, and they will do it in a way that the victim will start to doubt their memory.

10 Signs You Are a Victim of Gaslighting.

Gaslighting is not easily recognizable, as a victim may think it is normal. If you suspect you are a victim of gaslighting, here are 10 signs you are being gaslighted.

1. You are depressed, tired & constantly question yourself.

2. Anything you say will be used against you.

3. You lie to avoid conflict.

4. You stop trying to be heard.

5. The toxic individual will claim you have memory issues. He/she will deny they said or did something & say you just don’t remember.

6. You start to doubt your own beliefs & perceptions.

7. You start to think you are the crazy one.

8. You have low self-esteem.

9. You wonder if you are too sensitive.

10. You think you do everything wrong & wonder if you will ever be good enough.

What to do when you realize you are a victim of gaslighting? Do not confront the abuser, and they will only deny it. You may doubt yourself, your recollections, recent experiences, and your perceptions when someone is gaslighting you. You may feel bewildered and question if there is something wrong with you after conversing with the individual gaslighting you. You may be led to believe that you are to blame for anything or that you are overly sensitive. You don’t need to react or respond because that will only be used against you. So, educate yourself on gaslighting so they can no longer manipulate you. Leave the conversation & walk away if you can. Try to get outside advice & always trust your intuition.

1. You are depressed, tired & constantly question yourself.

2. Anything you say will be used against you.

3. You lie to avoid conflict.

4. You stop trying to be heard.

5. The toxic individual will claim you have memory issues. He/she will deny they said or did something & say you just don’t remember.

6. You start to doubt your own beliefs & perceptions.

7. You start to think you are the crazy one.

8. You have low self-esteem.

9. You wonder if your too sensitive.

10. You think you do everything wrong, & wonder if you will ever be good enough.

What to do when you realize you are a victim of gaslighting? Do not confront the abuser, they will only deny it. Educate yourself on gaslighting so they can no longer manipulate you. Leave the conversation & walk away if you can. Try to get outside advice & always trust your intuition.